Friday, August 26, 2016

In the Dark

July 27, 2016

Darkness. The Void. All That is Not.

When you're a being of ultimate darkness, whose very existence is the antithesis of life and color, there aren't many people who want anything to do with you.

Well, there's the crazies. Aren't there always the crazies?

Teens who listen to a little too much death metal sacrificing chickens while listening to Korn, or entire civilizations who built pyramids all around blood sacrifice to keep him appeased. As if the contents of a George Ramero movie was of interest to him. He's Darkness, for fuck's sake, he doesn't need your blood. Give it a rest.

But there was always someone who assumed that because nothing could survive in the vacuum of space, that he enjoyed killing and blood.


Another opinion that didn't make him incredibly popular. And then there were those who assumed he was evil and would take up noble quests to destroy him. As if.

He had shake his heads at Knights of the Eternal Flame of Enoch. One of that order had set himself on fire to "keep out the darkness," which pretty much summed up his thoughts on the matter.


All told, he was fine with never interacting with anyone, gods or mortals.

Which was all the more surprising when he got her voicemail, asking him out for waffles. He'd never had waffles.

He'd long since given up texting, since he always screwed it up. But Google's voice-to-text had come a long way.

"Ok, Google." he said, his voice was soft, but his phone chirped to life.

"What time should I pick you up?" he asked, and then hit SEND. He felt foolish, almost giddy. He tried not to look in the direction of his phone, and just focused on existing. Spreading the vast nothingness as far as he -


I'll pick YOU up, darlin'. See you at 10 ;)

Google read the text for him, and he played it back a few times.

Sounds good. He sent back. And it did.

And now all there was to do was wait. Which was something he was really good at. He had waited for millennia before creation and would be waiting long after everything had ended. But suddenly it was harder. Much harder. He wanted to do something that wasn't simply existing.

He wanted waffles. Waffles with her.

Time passed, and for the first time in eternity it seemed to take forever. And he knew what forever felt like. He was forever. He was the cold dark of eternity.

And then he saw her pulling up. Rays of light piercing the veil of his realm, and colors he'd never known existed melted all over the landscape he'd never seen. He put on his sunglasses. But it didn't stop the warmth spreading through him - it felt so alien, but also... lovely.

She stepped out of her car and smiled at him. He had to shield his eyes.

"You look radiant," he said. "But everyone tells you that."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, and his heart fluttered in his chest.

"I always love to hear it," she said. "You ready to go?"

He hesitated, but only for a moment.

"I can't wait."

Friday, August 19, 2016

When Heroes Kill

I just tried out 100% Chameleon to see what all the fuss was about. I then proceeded to kill every (city-dwelling) citizen of Cyrodiil without any resistance.

Author's Note: This came from the above reddit link. The OP said "I feel like I should have read about that in Skyrim." So I wrote about it.

Found in the stacks of Apocrypha

Journal of Erina Jeranus

(All that are left are bloodstained scraps of vellum in a rotted leather binding)

Some of us lived. We don't know why, but so many died. What I couldn't understand was how everyone could be so calm about it. The guards asking about rumors and reminding citizens to stay on the road.

As if bandits were what was soaking our homes in blood. No one ever saw who did it, but I remember when I was in the basement, chatting with Sindarion about his plans to travel. He stopped suddenly, like he was clearing his throat. I looked at him and he had the oddest expression, then the blood poured from the gash in his neck, some spurting... Oh, Divines! Why?

I knew someone was here. I don't know why I wasn't killed. I followed the sound of footsteps - I know it was madness, but what else was there to do? The only reason I could was because so many were already dead, and the streets of Skingrad were silent.

Footsteps echoed off buildings filled with corpses. The stench should have been overwhelming, but I had become used to it. There was a strange shimmer in the air, like the shadow of a shadow. So I watched, hands shaking, heart beating so loudly I knew he could hear it.

Then I caught sight of the murderer, and recognized the killer as the one who had saved us all from the swarming hordes of Oblivion: The Champion of Cyrodiil. He smiled at me before moving down the road towards Anvil.

The Gods have abandoned us.

Friday, August 12, 2016



June 28, 2016


The object seem to hang in the air for a moment, the sun caught it fully, sending red bangles of light in all directions. Ella's fingers actually brushed it, but moments too late.

The heart hit the stone floor and shattered. Jagged shards skittered across the floor, making an enormous mess of razor-edged splinters. She watched as a large portion slid under the fridge. The other hearts in the bowl clattered together as she came to an abrupt halt, chiming like bells as they jostled.

"Again, El?" said Brent, popping his head in from the next room. "What's that, number four this week?"

"Shut up," she snapped, crouching down to pick up the bigger pieces gingerly between her finger. The chunks were pretty easy, their edges catching the sunlight that was streaming into the kitchen window.

"At this rate, you'll never get enough to graduate," he said. He put his own bowl on the counter and crouched down to help her clean up.

She pinched a smaller piece, and squeezed too hard, and it sank deep into the pad of her thumb and she hissed in pain.

"Sonova --"

Brant took her hand and squinted at the tiny wound, brought her thumb to his mouth, and she could feel his teeth grazed over the fleshy part on her thumb and catch the ruby shard. It hardly hurt at all when he pulled it out. He spat it into the palm of his hand and grinned at her.

"They sting like a bitch if you leave them in. Don't feel too bad, my first year, I broke the Academy record smashing these motherfuckers," he said. And Ella felt herself blush.

"I bet you did," she said, squeezing a fat drop of blood out of her thumb.

They finished cleaning up the mess. Ella swept up the smaller pieces, and Brent got an old bar of soap to help nab the microscopic slivers that you would only find the next day when you wanked barefoot looking to get a cup of coffee.

"It doesn't seem right that they're so easy to break," said Ella, dumping out the remains into the dustbin.

"Nature of the business, El. If we didn't break them, someone else would. Some of them do make it," he said.

"Any make it all the way?" she asked.

"More than you'd think. Well, I got to get back to the kiln," he said. "Don't let Master Jiin give you too much shit. I'll have to tell you about the time he upended an entire pallet."

Ella giggled feeling remarkably better than she had just minutes ago, and she smiled at Brent. His breath caught for just a second.

"Thanks, Brent," she said.

"Don't mention it."

Friday, August 5, 2016

Home Sweet Home

Jenna loves her apartment, and her apartment loves her. But Jenna has started seeing someone new, and her apartment is getting jealous...

June 16, 2016

Jenna was pulling off her top as she skipped into her bedroom, giving Todd a grin and a wink. He was following her in, when the door slammed, not so much in his face as on it. There was a crunching noise.

"Fuck me!" is what he tried to say. But it was more an inarticulate yell-scream, that devolved into whimpers as he tried to simultaneously stem the flow of blood and not cry and was successful at neither.

"Dom!" cried Jenna. She slapped her hand against the wall, enough to shake loose a picture frame on the other side, which crashed down. "We talked about this!"

The door swung open slowly, and she rushed to Todd who was dripping blood everywhere. Including - oh God! - the plush carpets. She steered him to the bathroom, and had him sit on the commode. Jenna grabbed one of the nice towels from her bathroom and Todd pressed it to his face, absolutely ruining it - just like he ruined everything.

As Jenna went to the medicine cabinet to grab some cotton swabs, the mirrored door was stuck. She tried again - it wouldn't budge.

"Dom," her voice was filled with warning, and the next time she tried the mirror popped open, and she grabbed a bag of cotton balls.

"If the bleeding slows down, you can plug it up with this - but not until it slows down, hun. I'm going to get you some ice. I'm so sorry. I thought we were past this."

"Forget it, Jen," said Todd, hos voice muffled by the towel and dribbling blood. "I can't do this anymore. Either you move out, or I'm done."

"Leave Dom? You can't be serious."

Todd and Dom hadn't gotten along from the get-go, when he'd tracked mud into the den, then had the temerity to complain about the the size of the kitchen. The kitchen with granite countertops with chunks of mica so shiny you'd think it was gilded with silver. And this plebe says it's too big for what they need.

Strike one.

Another time, he didn't bother putting a towel down on the floor after a shower - dripping everywhere as he lumbered over to where Jenna's towels were folded. And then left it there.

Strike two, motherfucker.

After that, Dom made sure Todd lost his keys in the couch or stubbed his toes when heading to the bathroom at night.

But then the interloper had done the unthinkable - he'd wallpapered the den. Which wouldn't have been so bad, if hadn't made the cardinal sin of using a liner. And even then, Dom could have let it go - but the border was a repeating picture of cats wearing Hawaiian shirts and aviator sunglasses. That shit couldn't stand.

Todd had thought the borders hilarious and thought he was being ironic. Jenna had to work hard to keep Dom from breaking his legs (it would be ironic) - whispering about mahogany crown moldings, and thick matte-finish paints in deep rich colors.

Todd lived in a little apartment downtown - hardly more than a studio, from what Dom understood. Jenna had once mentioned he decorated with posters. Posters! Like some college dorm.

"Oh, I'm serious all right." Except it came out "Umph Om pheriiuff ull righph." And Jenna laughed. Not a big laugh, just a chuckle that bubbled up and escaped her lips before she could slap her hand over her mouth. But it was enough. Todd was on his feet and shoving past her. Mostly so she wouldn't see him cry.

When he got to the front door, it stuck just enough that when he tried again - and it wasn't stuck at all - he ended up smacking himself in the face, bonking his broken nose and screaming in pain and frustration.

"I hate this fucking place!" Uh haph this fuggin plaff!

And in minutes he was in his car and gone.

Jenna stared at the stains in the carpet and sighed.

"I wish you wouldn't be such a dick to them, Dom. You know I love you," she said, leaning against the wall. The AC kicked on for a minute, and she was hit with a gentle cool breeze. "I know, I know - I'd never find another place like you."

There was a rattle from the pipes in the wall near the stains on the floor.

"Well, whose fault is that, huh? He wouldn't have bled everywhere if you hadn't bashed his nose in," said Jenna. She grabbed some soap and plopped the ice she'd been planning to use on Todd's nose in it and poured it over the stains.

"Well, if it doesn't come out, I'll talk to the folks at Brite & Klean, they are miracle workers," she said.

The A/C vents purred in response.