Friday, August 5, 2016

Home Sweet Home

Jenna loves her apartment, and her apartment loves her. But Jenna has started seeing someone new, and her apartment is getting jealous...

June 16, 2016

Jenna was pulling off her top as she skipped into her bedroom, giving Todd a grin and a wink. He was following her in, when the door slammed, not so much in his face as on it. There was a crunching noise.

"Fuck me!" is what he tried to say. But it was more an inarticulate yell-scream, that devolved into whimpers as he tried to simultaneously stem the flow of blood and not cry and was successful at neither.

"Dom!" cried Jenna. She slapped her hand against the wall, enough to shake loose a picture frame on the other side, which crashed down. "We talked about this!"

The door swung open slowly, and she rushed to Todd who was dripping blood everywhere. Including - oh God! - the plush carpets. She steered him to the bathroom, and had him sit on the commode. Jenna grabbed one of the nice towels from her bathroom and Todd pressed it to his face, absolutely ruining it - just like he ruined everything.

As Jenna went to the medicine cabinet to grab some cotton swabs, the mirrored door was stuck. She tried again - it wouldn't budge.

"Dom," her voice was filled with warning, and the next time she tried the mirror popped open, and she grabbed a bag of cotton balls.

"If the bleeding slows down, you can plug it up with this - but not until it slows down, hun. I'm going to get you some ice. I'm so sorry. I thought we were past this."

"Forget it, Jen," said Todd, hos voice muffled by the towel and dribbling blood. "I can't do this anymore. Either you move out, or I'm done."

"Leave Dom? You can't be serious."

Todd and Dom hadn't gotten along from the get-go, when he'd tracked mud into the den, then had the temerity to complain about the the size of the kitchen. The kitchen with granite countertops with chunks of mica so shiny you'd think it was gilded with silver. And this plebe says it's too big for what they need.

Strike one.

Another time, he didn't bother putting a towel down on the floor after a shower - dripping everywhere as he lumbered over to where Jenna's towels were folded. And then left it there.

Strike two, motherfucker.

After that, Dom made sure Todd lost his keys in the couch or stubbed his toes when heading to the bathroom at night.

But then the interloper had done the unthinkable - he'd wallpapered the den. Which wouldn't have been so bad, if hadn't made the cardinal sin of using a liner. And even then, Dom could have let it go - but the border was a repeating picture of cats wearing Hawaiian shirts and aviator sunglasses. That shit couldn't stand.

Todd had thought the borders hilarious and thought he was being ironic. Jenna had to work hard to keep Dom from breaking his legs (it would be ironic) - whispering about mahogany crown moldings, and thick matte-finish paints in deep rich colors.

Todd lived in a little apartment downtown - hardly more than a studio, from what Dom understood. Jenna had once mentioned he decorated with posters. Posters! Like some college dorm.

"Oh, I'm serious all right." Except it came out "Umph Om pheriiuff ull righph." And Jenna laughed. Not a big laugh, just a chuckle that bubbled up and escaped her lips before she could slap her hand over her mouth. But it was enough. Todd was on his feet and shoving past her. Mostly so she wouldn't see him cry.

When he got to the front door, it stuck just enough that when he tried again - and it wasn't stuck at all - he ended up smacking himself in the face, bonking his broken nose and screaming in pain and frustration.

"I hate this fucking place!" Uh haph this fuggin plaff!

And in minutes he was in his car and gone.

Jenna stared at the stains in the carpet and sighed.

"I wish you wouldn't be such a dick to them, Dom. You know I love you," she said, leaning against the wall. The AC kicked on for a minute, and she was hit with a gentle cool breeze. "I know, I know - I'd never find another place like you."

There was a rattle from the pipes in the wall near the stains on the floor.

"Well, whose fault is that, huh? He wouldn't have bled everywhere if you hadn't bashed his nose in," said Jenna. She grabbed some soap and plopped the ice she'd been planning to use on Todd's nose in it and poured it over the stains.

"Well, if it doesn't come out, I'll talk to the folks at Brite & Klean, they are miracle workers," she said.

The A/C vents purred in response.

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